Rinse all veggies and pat dry.

Cut away and discard the cauliflower leaves and stem. Cut remaining cauliflower into 1-2 inch pieces, place in a microwave safe dish, and microwave on high for 4 minutes. Stir and check to see if it's done. Stir and continue to microwave at increments of 2 minutes, testing for readiness. Cauliflower is ready when pieces are tender on the outside with a firm middle. Place cooked cauliflower in a colander and refrigerate uncovered to cool and drain.

Place uncooked bacon onto two paper towels on a microwave safe, cover with one or two paper towels, and microwave on high for 3 minutes. Rotate and microwave again for 2-3 minutes until nearly crisp. Set aside to cool.

Cut away and discard roots from green onions. Cut and dice onion stalks into small pieces. I like to slice crosswise into no larger than 1/4", then slice the white sections in half to make half circles. Place in a large bowl.

Chop celery into small pieces no larger than 1/2" x 1/4" - go ahead and chop the leaves if your stock has them. They mix well in this recipe. Add to the large bowl with the onions.

Chop cooled bacon into 1/2" pieces and add to large bowl with celery and onions.

Add cooled cauliflower to the large bowl with other ingredients. It may not be completely cooled - that's ok.

Add mayo, sour cream, and cheddar cheese to the large bowl. Stir gentle to combine all ingredients.

Sprinkle salt, pepper, and Tabasco over the salad. Stir gently but thoroughly to combine evenly.